kitchen klutz

i'm a fairly clumsy person.  i often trip, bump into things, hit my funny bone.  i'm always stubbing my toes.  while my clumsiness can be annoying and often results in minor bumps, bruises and cuts, i have found it to be even more irritating and dangerous in the kitchen.  

my kitchen klutziness can be separated into two categories based on the end result of my clumsy action.

1) MKK (messy kitchen klutz) during a MKK moment, i create a huge mess in the kitchen with my clumsy actions.  

example 1:  while cooking and drinking a glass of wine, i turn around and knock the wine over with my elbow.  the wine spills everywhere.  it also spills on my jeans, socks and shirt.  (note: this can and has occurred with a seemingly endless variety of ways to spill the glass of wine.  in several cases, the wine glass broke.) 

example 2: the kitchen aid mixer should not be turned on while the mixing blade is sticking out of the bowl.  i often turn in on when it is sticking out and covered with dough.  usually, i turn it on by accidentally bumping the switch.  a few days ago, this resulted in cooking dough splattering all over my kitchen and kitchen floor. 

(many other similar examples exist, but you get the point...)

2) BHKK (bodily harm kitchen klutz) a BHKK occurs when my clumsy actions lead to bodily harm.  generally, bodily harm in the kitchen is in the form of a burn or a cut.  

example 1: while i sometimes burn myself on pots and pans, most of my burns occur while baking.  i often burn myself while taking things in and out of the oven.  and most recently (tonight), i burned myself on a cookie sheet.  i somehow managed to give myself a 2 inch burn.  

example 2: accidents with knives usually don't happen when i'm actually cutting something.  they happen when i'm washing dishes, putting knives away or doing something totally unrelated to cutting.  i barely avoided a serious injury a few days ago when i dropped a knife on the ground and it almost pierced my foot. 

sometimes the BHKK can cause a MKK.  when i burn myself taking cookies from the oven, i may drop the cookies on the floor as a result of the pain from the burn.  

i think i'd rather stub my toe or trip in public.  those cookies i baked better be worth the 2 inch burn i have on my hand...speaking of which, i better go eat a few of them to make myself feel better.  they'd probably go well with a glass of milk if i can manage not to spill it...