It's HOT

Today is the fourth day in a row of extremely hot weather in New York City. I'm talking 100 degrees and 105 with the heat index. The heat is unbearable when you must take the subway (aka. The microwave) to work in the morning and have to walk around everywhere. Let's just say I'm perpetually sweating. So with that...here are Letterman's Top Ten Answers to the Question, "How Hot Is It in New York"

10. It's so hot the Statue of Liberty is holding a slurpee

9. It so hot mob informants look forward to getting dumped in the river

8. It's so hot, Regis is hosting a new show called "America's Got Heat Stroke."

7. It's so hot disoriented cab drivers are obeying traffic laws

6. It's so hot the cops are randomly searching bags for Gatorade

5. It's so hot Osama Bin Lade was spotted in front of the air conditioners at PC Richard

4. It's so hot Trump's new catchphrase is, "You're sweating!"

3. It's so hot kids are using asphalt instead of play-doh

2. It's so hot delivery guys are riding camels

1. It's so hot a disoriented Bill Clinton has been hitting on Hillary