American Society for Velociraptor Attacks (ASVA)

Prepare yourself for a potential velociraptor attack. (http://www.velociraptors.info/)

"When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:

  1. Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
  2. Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
  3. Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron."


TLC said...

I will definitely carry a tire iron with me at all times. Thank you for this most helpful information. :)