i think i'm addicted to blogs...

...because i am now officially the author of 3 blogs. before you schedule an intervention, let me explain. i really do have a good explanation.

blog #1 is this blog...obviously. and i started it in 2005 when i first learned about blogging. i lived in new york and didn't have a plan for the blog other than to put random things on it that i encountered while living in new york city.

blog #2 i was super bored at work over the last 4ish months. i got really tired of reading news and articles and blogs (surprise surprise). so i looked for another thing to fill the free time i had at work. since i was reading so many blogs, i thought that maybe i would start a new one. but this one i wanted to host and code myself. so i learned css and html and a little php. i played around with it forever. finally, i got my site up and running. it's called 'painting lilies'. you can find the story behind the site on the site at http://paintinglilies.com

blog #3 you may or may not know that i'm going to the dominican republic in a few days. people kept asking me to start a blog so they can follow my trip. so i was going to do it here on lindsays2cents. but then i thought that i was sending it out to a million random people and i wasn't quite sure i wanted ALL of them to have access to lindsays2cents. i mean, they all technically have access since this is a public blog on the internet. but, well...it just seemed like i should keep them separate. my second thought was to include a DR section on blog #2. but after trying that, the subjects just seemed too different. finally, i caved in and opened blog #3 to chronicle my times in the DR. http://lchunt.wordpress.com

so there you have it. my three blogs. i'm not abandoning this one. but i'm guessing that you'll find more updates on the other two for at least a little while. i mean, i'll always be able to post my embarrassing bird stories on lindsays2cents. which reminds me...i may have to update with my latest bird disaster...see you somewhere on the blogosphere!

stay tuned...

my posts have been sporadic because i'm working on a new project.  it's really a series of projects.  hopefully you'll hear more about it soon....

in the meantime, one of my "loyal" blog readers may or may not be receiving the above in the mail sometime next week.  i'm on a knitting spree.  which isn't really part of my new project.  but it is somewhat related... 

maybe i've been watching too many tv season finales with cliff hangers, but stay tuned. 

pickled grapes

i made pickled grapes last weekend.  they sound strange, but believe me--they're good.  if you like vinegar, you'll love these.  they're a little sour and a little sweet...great alone or in a salad. recipe is here

broken glass

this is how i found my car this morning--window shattered, glass everywhere, car broken into, ipod stolen.  great way to start the day. the strange thing is that i park my car in a covered, locked, private garage for residents of my apartment building only.  when i arrived home last night, i was the last car in the garage (only 7 cars use the garage).  i came home late--after 11 pm.  and i don't really understand how someone got into the garage. either they a) were already in there when i came home, b) followed me in and hid while i was getting stuff out of my trunk c) got in through a door that someone left unlocked or d) live in my apartment building.  a and b are really creepy.  c-d don't make me feel much safer.  all that the person took was my ipod and the device that connects it to my radio.  nothing else was even out of place.  and my ipod (though i loved it) wasn't even worthy of breaking a window to steal.  it's over 4 years old, scratched, dropped, and chipped.  

i spent most of the day getting the window replaced, calling my insurance agent, filing a police report, talking to the property manager of my building.  at least i didn't have to go to work.  instead, i sat outside and enjoyed the 70 degree weather at a starbucks while waiting for the car window replacement.  

i guess i need to be more careful with what i leave in the car.  i usually am pretty aware, but tend to be less aware in my own garage.  i was keenly aware tonight when i came home.  doors were locked (and relocked) several times before entering the garage.  i watched the door shut behind me to make sure no one followed me inside.  i glanced around the garage before getting out of my car and then i sprinted to the door to escape what is now a slightly scary and dangerous parking garage.  

one step forward, three steps back

do you ever feel like each time you make progress or think you're making progress, you all of a sudden find that you're taking several steps back?  that's the story of my life these days.  every time i think i'm getting somewhere or see some glimmers of hope, i'm knocked back a few paces and have to start all over again. it's so frustrating.  and exhausting.  and disheartening.

i feel like i'm stuck in quicksand.  and i've been slowly sinking for a while.  but i wasn't worried, because i saw these swinging vines and they were swinging close to me and i was pretty sure i would catch one and it would pull me out.  but then the vines were cut or stopped swinging and i kept sinking.  every now and then, someone throws one my way.  i reach out to grab it.  sometimes my fingers just touch it.  other times i even get a full grasp on it and start to pull myself out.  but then the vine snaps.  or someone cuts it. and i'm back where i was--sinking in the quicksand. 

the eggs in the picture above are psyanky or ukrainian easter eggs [those two were decorated by allison].  i set up all the dyes and hot wax and kitskas to decorate eggs last weekend.  and i spent several hours decorating one.  but then i accidentally broke it this week.  it figures. 

some changes

on friday, the sun emerged in seattle.  the preceding days were cold, wet, dreary, cloudy.  but then the sun came for a weekend visit.  it finally feels like spring.  i know there are many cold and rainy days between now and summer, but it is officially spring. the flowers are planted, the trees are budding, the cherry blossoms are...well, blossoming.  the change to spring is a very welcome one.  

friday also brought some hope of a change in my work life.  nothing is official yet, but hopefully things will continue to progress over the next couple weeks.  i'm excited about the possibilities.  

i haven't felt very excited or hopeful for quite a while. but it's sunny (for now), spring is here, summer is on it's way.  i'm where i'm supposed to be right now. 

broken plates

the first quarter of the year has been difficult.  the beginning was filled with waiting, wondering, and hoping.  the end has been disappointing, frustrating, sad.  

i had plans.  i had ideas about how the rest of the year would play out for me.  and those ideas and plans didn't come to fruition.  it was extremely disheartening and disappointing to receive rejection after rejection from the schools where i applied to phd programs.  with each one that came in, i felt like an inadequate failure.  i know that it was a bad year to apply.  i know the programs had hundreds more applicants than usual this year. i know that i aimed really really high.  i know that the acceptance rates were less than 2%.  but they still didn't choose me. and that sucked. 

one of the most difficult parts has been emotionally readjusting my outlook for the rest of the year.  i thought i'd be leaving and i have been acting like i would be leaving for months.  now all of a sudden, i'm staying where i am. same job. same apartment. same life. i wanted change so badly and there is none. and i'm slowly starting to realize that where i am right now isn't really that bad. maybe i don't need a monumental change. maybe i just need some small changes.  most likely, i need to change my attitude, my perspective, my outlook. 

the first quarter was terrible and lonely and disappointing.  and it involved lots of tears and unrest and even anger. last week i felt the burden of it all very acutely and i didn't sleep more than two hours each night.  i watched a lot of late night tv and rewatched dvr shows a few times. after an exhausting week, i needed rest. i needed some peace.  i needed to let go of the disappointment so that i could move forward and stop thinking backwards.  

so last night i went to the goodwill with some friends. we purchased some plates from the goodwill.  we drove to a park late at night. and we smashed the plates in the parking lot.  i raised the plates and chucked them at the ground.  and it was unbelievably therapeutic.  i let go of the first quarter and smashed it away. yesterday was the first day of spring. a new season.  march is almost over. a new quarter. and i'm starting to realize that there are things to look forward to.  after all, there still is a plan.  i have no idea where it will take me.  and it isn't the one i had in mind.  but maybe it will be so much better than what i imagined. 

[the picture above is a piece of one of the broken plates.  this plate was my grande finale plate.  it said, 'you are special today'. and as i threw it, i screamed the slogan.]